


The Captain

by Lantean_Breeze



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Trekstock Prompt 1: Words to Live By
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 17:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/827095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lantean_Breeze/pseuds/Lantean_Breeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is basically a recounting of the major events of Star Trek Into Darkness from the perspective of James. T. Kirk.  It follows his development from careless captain to the leader that Admiral Pike was trying to get him to be.  </p><p>I have to admit that I kind of wrote this to make Kirk's transformation a little for enriched for myself, but I hope other people will get something out of this too.  There is no real focus on romantic pairings other than some very mild S/U.  </p><p>The "Words to Live By" are basically the first paragraph of the story.  Thanks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Captain

**The Captain**

 

“You’re a Captain now, Jim. That means you’re going to have to put the needs of your crew before your own. You’ve proven that you’re willing to die for your crew, but leading is a lot harder than being willing to die. They only have to think about themselves and how they perform, but Jim, you have to think of everyone, and _everything_. You have to be selfless, and you have to show up for your crew every single time that they need you. And they’re gonna need you a lot. Can you do that? Because that’s what it means to be a Captain.”

These were the words Admiral Pike said to Jim Kirk after he, Spock, and the crew of the Enterprise defeated Nero’s plan to destroy Earth and the Federation. He had just been made captain of the Enterprise, replacing Pike, as Pike received a promotion to Admiral for his efforts. 

Jim walked onto the bridge of the Enterprise as its new captain, its new caretaker, with those words in mind, and he swore to himself that he would live by them. He would make Admiral Pike proud. He would make himself proud. He would gain the respect and trust of his crew, its First Officer in particular. 

He had been a little surprised when Commander Spock offered to serve as his second in command, but the truth is that he couldn’t have picked anyone better. They didn’t start off on the best of terms, that’s for sure, but there was something about the pointy-eared mannequin that he liked in spite of their differences. 

They had proven to each other that they could work together in a time of crisis when Nero struck, and that was a start. Jim hoped that they would build on that, with few setbacks, if any. He figured he would see, and he did. They were assigned various small missions to carry out over the course of the next six months, a way for Jim to catch his bearings as captain, no doubt, and from Jim’s view, things had gone relatively well. 

Relatively. _Well, that’s to be expected_ , Jim thought. The brass could be uptight about regulations, not understanding the necessity for shades of gray, and not everybody is going to like every decision a captain makes. And besides, he’d never lost a member of his crew, and never had one of them permanently or critically injured under his command. Out of respect, he kept these facts to himself, that is, until the Nibiru incident. 

Once again, Pike was down his throat on his back about doing what needed to be done. For six months, he had listened to the constant critiques and complaints about his performance, and he was more than a little tired of it. It was like he could never do anything right, _even when he did do things right._ As far as he was concerned, his record as a starship captain was spotless, and he said as much. 

Then it came, the figurative punch to the gut, taking the wind out of him. Admiral Pike informed him that he had lost his command. 

Was he bumped down to a Commander? A Lieutenant? No. He was now a cadet being sent back to the Academy to “learn his lesson.” He shook his head slightly and tried to take the news in stride. 

To make matters worse, did Spock even seem to appreciate what he’d done? He lost his command saving his life without so much as a genuine token of gratitude. Maybe it was too much to ask. Sometimes he wondered what was going on with his First Officer, well, his former First Officer. Every time he tried to find common ground with him, it was like he was purposefully being shut out. It was frustrating. 

Later on, he went to a local bar to get as drunk as possible in an effort to forget that he’d just lost his ship. He planned on staying at there until closing, or until he met a nice female of some sort that he could go home with, but that didn’t happen. Admiral Pike came and sat beside him, where he knew he’d be, and informed him of the fact that he had pulled some strings to make Jim his First Officer. The Admiral was taking the Enterprise back until Kirk could learn how to handle it. He received an emergency message on his hand-held communicator. They were to attend a high-level meeting for Starfleet’s top brass as soon as possible. 

Once there, they discussed the recent terrorist attack. It happened very shortly after Kirk was demoted and, up until he had to, he didn’t want to think about it. 

As the last of the booze filtered out of his system, Jim’s quick mind began putting the pieces together and he had to speak. Just as he had gotten to the point where he told everyone to clear the room—Crash! Glass shattered everywhere, bullets were flying, people were ducking and diving, and bodies were falling. Kirk did everything he could to fight back and stop their attacker. Finally, he succeeded, but not before John Harrison had taken Admiral Pike from him. 

_Of all of the ways I could become a captain again_ , Jim thought. _This is the worst one._  
\--- 

From captain, to cadet, to First Officer, back to captain again, all in one day. Thoughts and feelings swirled around inside of Jim until he felt almost sick. The only thing keeping him from losing what little composure he had left was the need for revenge—No justice. Admiral Marcus had given him permission to kill John Harrison, the man responsible for both attacks that day. It was tempting, so tempting that he allowed Scotty to resign when he questioned what was inside of the 72 photon torpedoes Admiral Marcus had given the Enterprise to get the job done. If Scotty couldn’t be a team player and accept an order from his captain during a time of crisis, then maybe it was better that he leave. Jim always liked him, and he was sorry to see him go, but he had a mission to carry out, and that mission was far more important than any one crew member. 

He wanted to be mad at Scotty. That would make things easier. It would have been so much better if the guy had stormed off in a fit, but instead, he looked up at Jim, like a friend, and asked Kirk to reconsider his actions. Then he and Keenser were gone. 

Kirk held their resignations in his hands and felt for a moment like he could fall apart, but he raised his head and carried on. He needed to be strong for his crew if he expected them to perform.  
\-----

The trip back to the bridge, one he’d made routinely more times than he could count, seemed interminably long. As he walked, the Chief Communications Officer, Lieutenant Uhura, had caught up with him. She offered her condolences for Pike, but Jim didn’t want her sympathy at the moment, even though he appreciated it. Her sympathy would only weaken him, and he was already doing his best to remain composed. He decided to change the subject. 

He told Nyota that Scotty quit and shared his concerns with her about Spock, wondering if he’d done something to offend the prickly Vulcan, but she said it wasn’t him. He wanted to press for details about Spock, maybe even compare notes, but knew better than to try. 

She had set the parameters surrounding their privacy as a couple from the start with Jim, and she held firmly to them. He respected that. He had developed the beginnings of a nice friendship over the course of the past six months with Nyota, and he knew that she would tell him, as her captain, of anything worth officially reporting. Until then, if there was a then, he knew her lips would be sealed. 

So, instead he asked her the second question that came to mind as he wondered what it must be like to quarrel with a Vulcan. He truly had to give her credit for putting up with that guy. 

With a casual determination, Kirk walked onto the bridge and informed ensign Chekov that he would be abandoning his navigation duties to take up Mr. Scott’s post as Chief Engineer. Chekov looked up innocently as the captain approached, and he accepted his new responsibilities with an eager trust that was only outmatched by his eagerness to do the best job possible, no matter what. 

As Kirk watched the young ensign leave the bridge, he started to have that sick feeling again, but he swallowed hard and pressed on. Somewhere, deep inside of himself, he felt like he had betrayed a promise somehow, like he had let someone down. 

But who? He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was fighting for justice, and wasn’t that among the highest of causes? “A good fight… I think that’s your problem right there,” he heard from the corner of his mind, and he knew that he had betrayed the promise he made when he first received the Enterprise and command of its crew. He was told that he had broken it, in a manner of speaking, and in so many ways by Pike and others, but he hadn't really felt the truth of it until now. 

He sat in his chair, what was supposed to be Admiral Pike’s chair until Jim was ready for it, and he remembered more of his mentor’s words, reminding himself to think of everything and not just what would make him feel better temporarily. 

He also remembered to listen. His irrational rage didn’t care if he ordered the firing of 72 torpedoes, but his respect for the man that he’d lost, the fact that he could hear his voice within his mind so clearly, caused him to second guess his initial instincts. He started out with following the advice of his First Officer and decided to bring Harrison in for justice instead of exacting his own. 

Pike had told him a number of times that listening was important. Listening to Scotty. Listening to Spock. Listening to all of the intelligent voices that had sound ideas and good opinions too. That was what was going to make this team, this family. It was one of many lessons he was learning, and he silently wished he could tell Pike that he was starting to understand what he had been trying to tell him, patiently and not-so-patiently, over the course of the last six months. 

_Actually, for years_ , he thought. 

He pushed that thought to the side as Spock approached him and offered to join him in his attempt to bring Harrison in. He even seemed to make an attempt at “human speech,” as Kirk liked to call it on the occasion when Spock actually said something in a more normal, fluid, way of communicating. 

Uhura’s revelation got Jim thinking about what all Spock had went through, and perhaps why getting along with him had been so difficult. After losing his planet and his mother, he had only taken three weeks off before resuming his duties. At the time, Jim figured that was normal, but after speaking with Uhura and thinking about it some, he realized that he didn’t know what “normal” was for a Vulcan. 

Obviously, she noticed that there was a problem too. He could sense it from small comments she had made over the past couple of months, and maybe that’s why they were fighting. For some reason, all of this made him feel a bit better, and it eased some of his bitterness toward Spock as he stepped off of the bridge.  
\----- 

In addition to Spock, Kirk decided to bring Uhura along for her xenolinguistics skills, hoping that the Klingons would diplomatically give up Harrison instead of the alternative. On the shuttle ride to Kronos, he ended up being caught in the middle of a quarrel they had openly in front of him, something very uncharacteristic of those two. He listened while Spock spoke of melding with Pike as he died. He said that, among other things, the Admiral had felt loneliness. For a man that had been there for Kirk as long as he’d known him, Jim wished he could go back in time and return the gesture, but of course it was too late. 

Kirk also heard the rest of what Spock had to say, and his suspicion that the destruction of Vulcan had something to do with his friend’s behavior erased the rest of the hard feelings Jim held against him. Apparently, long term grief was something Vulcans had to sort out and deal with too. 

When they landed on Kronos, Uhura convinced him to let her do what she was brought along to do instead of fighting, which was Kirk’s instinct at the time. They finally encountered Harrison and brought him into custody, but not after Kirk pummeled the man with a series of punches for Pike’s sake… or maybe his own. Part of Jim couldn’t stand to look at the guy, but he was a Starfleet officer, and he resolved himself to behave as such. 

He didn’t trust the smooth talking terrorist, who later said his name was Khan, but when asked to inspect one of the torpedoes, he decided to have Dr. Carol Marcus, along with Bones, check one of them to see what was inside. He told himself he wasn’t just doing this for his enemy, but for the Chief Engineer that didn’t want them on the ship unchecked. 

Carol Marcus. Hmm. She sneaked onto the ship with a false identity and Spock figured it out without saying anything until he felt it was “relevant.” Kirk made a mental note to discuss the topic of communication with his First Officer. 

They discovered that the torpedoes contained enhanced humans in cryostasis. Admiral Marcus planned for them to destroy these people and eliminate the evidence, all at the same time starting an unnecessary war with the Klingon Empire. Kirk realized now that he had two terrorists on his hands, and he wasn’t about to let either of them get away with their crimes. 

Choosing to fry the bigger fish first, Kirk worked with John Harrison to defeat Admiral Marcus. Then he watched his savvy First Officer outwit Khan, proving that they do make a good team when the going gets tough. They didn’t act alone, though. Everyone played their part, Uhura, Scotty, Carol and the rest of the crew. Just like the last time there was a rogue guy on the loose, determined to wield destruction. The team of the Enterprise was what made the difference, and Jim felt a brief surge of pride. 

But, teamwork wouldn’t save them from a failing ship that had taken too much of a beating. It was diving fast after being pulled into Earth’s atmosphere. 

Jim realized it was a race against the clock, and he didn’t want to lose. He couldn't lose. He had to do something to save his crew and his ship, even if it meant his life, and so he did. As he made the climb to the ships power core, sealed behind two sets of protective doors, Jim felt a certain kind of clarity. He only had one thing in mind: Success. He kicked the ship’s power supply back online and fell to the floor as the shock from the power resuming its flow caused him to lose his balance. 

He crawled through the innermost set of doors up to the glass doors that allowed him to look out into the engineering section. _This isn’t so bad,_ he thought. _I’m cozy, in a nice spot, with a nice view._ If he was about to die, he wasn't going to feel sorry for himself. The radiation from being exposed to the ship’s power core was taking its toll, and then he saw him. 

Spock kneeled down on the other side of the glass. They both acknowledged that a key component to their success was doing what the other would do. More words were exchanged as Kirk’s mind filled with haze. The last thing he remembered was touching his hand to the glass against another.  
\-----

The next thing Jim remembered was waking up in a warm bed. The first face he saw was that of his good friend Bones. It was comforting to see him, to be alive. He was told he had been out for two weeks as his body healed from the radiation using Khan’s synthesized blood. The next face he saw belonged to Commander Spock. He made sure to thank him for saving his life. 

The Commander wasn’t there long. He had on his dress uniform and was no doubt either coming from or going to one of what would be many ceremonies over the next couple of weeks. Bones left shortly after he did and Kirk was glad for the quiet. He felt gratitude for being alive, for his crew, for whatever was around the corner waiting to be discovered… 

But, after that, Jim felt the secret shame he had buried away for taking Admiral Pike for granted. Pike had always believed in him, always made time for him, always stood up for him when no one else would. Now that was gone, and Jim couldn’t help but feel hollow inside. 

It also didn’t help that he now understood what Pike had gone through in trying to reach him. Jim remembered how upset and frustrated he was with Spock for shutting him out, even going against him as his First Officer by writing the report that cost him his captaincy as a repayment for saving his life. He had spent months bending over backward trying to find a way to reach him, a way to be friends, and it didn’t seem to make a difference. 

Now, lying in his bed, recovering in sickbay, he realized that he had done the same thing to Admiral Pike, except, he didn’t have cold Vulcan logic, the relatively recent loss of a parent, or the destruction of his homeworld as an excuse. And while he was able to correct this oversight with his First Officer, he realized had never told Pike “Thank you,” and that hurt most of all. 

Unlike Spock, he didn’t get the chance to connect with Pike before he died, to tell him that he heard everything he said, that he _was listening_ , and that he would live by the great advice he had received, to the best of his abilities, every single day. 

\--- 

As Kirk stood in front of his fellow Starfleet officers to pay tribute to the fallen and to rechristen the USS Enterprise one year later, he imagined Pike sitting beside him at another bar somewhere, daring him to do better, to _be better_ this time, and not to waste this opportunity at a second chance. 

A month into the Enterprise and its crew’s 5 year exploratory mission, Jim sat across from Spock and Nyota during breakfast in the mess hall. Normally, he would eat with Bones, but his medically inclined friend was preoccupied. Jim watched with interest as he was having an animated discussion with Dr. Marcus over a plate of flapjacks, lean sausage, and coffee. 

He looked around at the shining walls of the ship and the other bright faces of his crew, and he felt that he was finally equipped to be responsible for their well-being and success. He still had some things to learn, but with a new-found humility and the best senior staff a Captain could have, he was sure that he would learn what ever lessons he needed to learn in time. 

“I’m not there yet, Sir, but I’ll get there. I promise you,” Jim said. His voice was soft, barely audible among all of the chatter in the mess hall. He heard a deep “Hmm” to his side at about the same time Spock must have accidentally brushed his hand as he reached for the pepper. Uhura was going on about some topic JIm hadn’t been paying attention to. He looked up at Spock, and the Vulcan was as cool as ever with his attention so focused on Nyota that an earthquake couldn't shake it. 

Still, something told him that this “Hmm” wasn’t directed at her. He could swear that, for a split second, a wave of percolating interest washed over him. That’s what got his attention more than the sound. He kept looking at Spock, waiting for some sign, and there was nothing. He seemed to be devoutly interested in whatever Nyota was saying and never took his eyes off of her. 

Kirk looked down at his breakfast feeling a little confused. He knew that Vulcans possess very good hearing, better than the best human hearing, and that they are well-known for their mental multitasking abilities. They’re also telepaths, and that wave of interest felt vaguely similar to what it felt like to meld with the other Spock. It wasn’t nearly as intense, nor as intimate, but it was… similar. Kirk decided that he was thinking too much about it and that it would be best to brush the whole thing off and just eat his cold breakfast. 

Several minutes later, Spock calmly finished his morning tea. He then informed both Lieutenant Uhura and Captain Kirk that is was time for their duty shifts to begin. That was one good thing about being around Spock. You never needed a watch. “Mr. Spock,” started Jim as they all walked the corridor leading to the turbo lift. “Has the science team you assigned to the Oragia System finished cataloguing their results?”

“While we are not there yet, Captain, I have full faith in the fact that we will get there.”

A surprised smile flashed across Jim’s face. Faith? Declaring something to be a fact when it hasn’t happened yet? Wow… That was certainly something coming from Spock. And then there was the way he’d said it. 

Kirk and Uhura piled into the turbo lift after Spock as he entered in the bridge as their destination using the punch-pad. Jim looked over at Spock and saw a kind of knowing smile coming from Uhura, who was closely by his side. 

“Yeah… Yeah, me too. I’m sure you will,” Kirk replied happily. Spock looked over at him very briefly and gave his signature curt nod as a sign of acknowledgement. The turbo lift doors slid open, and they each took their stations on the bridge. 

It seemed to the young Captain, as he settled into his chair, that their five year mission was off to a good start.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this. Any feedback will be welcome as that is how I will learn to improve. A little "fix" was added at the end to account for the fact that Spock is a touch telepath. Thanks. :)


End file.
